As per visualweasel at Lingwë, and with the aid of The Mechanical Contrivium, I bring you Ten Things You Did Not Know About me, Vellum:
1. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Vellum fighting underground.
2. Only one person in two billion will live to be Vellum!
3. A lump of Vellum the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court.
4. Banging your head against Vellum uses 150 calories an hour.
5. There is no lead in a lead pencil - it is simply a stick of graphite mixed with Vellum and water.
6. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Vellum.
7. If you put a drop of liquor on Vellum, he will go mad and sting himself to death!
8. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn into Vellum.
9. Vellum was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
10. A thimbleful of Vellum would weigh over 100 million tons.
Yes, I know it's stupid, but I couldn't be bothered to put something normal up.
Sue me :)