Resigned

I just submitted my letter of resignation (thanks for the advice, folks!). I do not feel empowered; I do not feel free and untethered; I feel twitchy and nervous and like I've done something horribly wrong.

I expect this is natural. The position itself, as more or less my own boss, was fairly empowering; my debt, car lease and apartment leases (there are now two) keep me from feeling free or untethered; and as someone who has always strived to be a "good girl," I still haven't gotten the hang of angering people or disappointing people whom I shouldn't worry about disappointing.

And I'm damp and smell vaguely of coffee, thanks to dumping my mug all over myself first thing this morning.

I give up, Monday*. You win. Just let me go home, curl up, drink some tea, read North and South and forget about jobs, museum boards, exhibits, and the possibility that I may not have a job tomorrow.

*My work week starts on Wednesday. "Monday" isn't a day so much as a horrible aura that surrounds your first day back at work.

PS - Whyte Fairy, if you would like a curatorship at a small American art museum in rural New England with plenty of room for creativity and self-direction (but a little lacking in support and pay), I can probably arrange something.