"Help me, Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson; you alone would dare to avenge me"

Ever wondered what popular movies would be like as Icelandic sagas? In Old Norse? Well, I can't help you with Fight Club, but the Tattúínárdœla saga should provide weeks of entertainment.

Saga told in both Old Norse, for the serious scholars, and in English, for the Norse wimps like myself.

But Lúkr took Artú’s bloody cape and there found the message written by Princess Leia. He began to read it. “I am no runemaster,” he said, “But these words say, ‘Help me, Víga-Óbívan Kvæggansson; you alone would dare to avenge me.’ I don’t know how to read any more words, because they are written poorly and hastily. What is this?”

Artú pretended not to speak Norse, and asked in Irish, “What is what?”